I Love Emo People. I Love Emo Girls, Emo Men. I Love You All

I’ve enjoyed updating this website over this last 18 months. Ever since then I’ve been inundated with comments from Emos across the world annoyed with my relentless ranting. I just wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all this. I love coming home from work with my inbox full of comments like “u suck, u dunno how it is 2b emo! if u had 2 walk in ma shoes……”. It’s hysterical. It’s made me realise that 95% of all Emo’s are either retarded or mentally ill. I receive the odd comment that makes me consider otherwise, but they are few and far between.

emo

The real reason why I love Emo people is that you are all so silly. You spend all of your time trying to be different from everyone else but by doing so you’re conforming to the Emo stereotype. You are your own worst enemy. Nothing will ever change in your life until you say “No!” to the Emo way and live life to the full.

The first step to curing yourself is admitting that you have a problem. Most Emos won’t even admit they are Emo. Why is this? Are you really that ashamed of yourselves? Understandably you are. You conform to an ideology that promotes, self harm, immortality, chain smoking, alcoholism and suicide.

If Emos realised the full implication of their behavior they won’t stop immediately and turn into normal functioning members of society. This won’t happen however. Emo’s are too far gone. Truth be told, Emo’s have nothing but their Emoness. Their personality has long since been dissolved into the stereotype they’ve reinforced day in day out. In most cases, there is nothing left but a shell. A hopeless, depressed shell of a human who is obsessed with gouging themselves in the eyes with cuttlery.

If you’re Emo, please think very carefully about what I’ve just written. Do you wanna spend the next 50 years trying to dislodge that fork you’ve inserted into your eye

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